Restaurants Chefs F&W Pro Please Don't Hover While I'm Figuring Out the Tip Handheld credit card machines may speed up the process, but they stress me out. By Darron Cardosa Darron Cardosa Darron Cardosa, also known as the Bitchy Waiter, is the voice of restaurant servers. His decades-long career in the restaurant industry and his very active social media presence have made him an expert on all things service related. He says out loud what other servers wish they could say.Expertise: food service, restaurant industry, waiting tables.Experience: Darron Cardosa is a food service professional with over 30 years of restaurant experience. He has waited tables in diners, pubs, chain restaurants, neighborhood bistros, clubs, and had a short stint in a celebrity-owned restaurant before he was fired for blogging about his experience.Over the last 15 years, he has written more than 1,500 articles and blog posts, each and every one about the food service industry. He has written for Food & Wine, Plate, the Washington Post, and others. Darron has been seen on NBC's the Today show and CBS Sunday Morning discussing the service industry. His book, The Bitchy Waiter, was published in 2016, and his years as a professional actor eventually led to the creation of his one-man show, The Bitchy Waiter Show, which tours around the country. Food & Wine's Editorial Guidelines Published on August 16, 2023 Trending Videos Photo: Grace Cary / Getty Images There are moments during every restaurant meal when we want some private time to reflect. It might be when we give thanks before consuming the bounty that has been placed before us. Maybe it’s as we savor the last bite of dessert because we know that something good is coming to an end. For me, that need for personal time comes after the check has been delivered. In an era not too long ago, that moment came easily and automatically. The server would swing by the table, drop off the check and say, "I’ll pick that up whenever you’re ready." At my leisure, I could review the check and then place my credit card inside the folder, making sure it was visible to my server and then slide it to the edge of the table. It would be picked up, the card swiped and then returned to me with a pen so I could determine the tip. Today though, our checks are very often given to us by way of a handheld device that is very rarely left with us. I miss those days and I miss my alone time. This Is When It's OK to Leave a Bad Tip Last week, I had dinner out and when I asked for my check, the server pulled out a tiny iPhone-looking device with a screen more diminutive than a playing card. Before I could adjust my reading glasses, the check total was announced to me. As I pulled my credit card from my wallet, the device was placed in front of my face and I was told I could just tap it. The screen flashed three percentage options for a tip, so I hurriedly picked one. When I asked for a receipt, I was told it could be texted or emailed to me. Not wanting to use my giant digits to type information onto this Lilliputian screen, I asked for a printed receipt instead. The sigh that escaped from the server held the weight of the world, because now they would have to walk to go get it for me. Subscribe to the FW Pro Newsletter I like having time to look over my check without enduring the penetrating gaze of the person who’s waiting for it. It’s important for me to know that the check is accurate. If there’s a random item I didn’t order, I don’t want to pay for it. Likewise, if something was left off the bill, I want to either make sure I’m charged for it or tip extra if it was comped. It’s uncomfortable reviewing the check while your server is literally holding it for you. Wait, Are We Really Supposed to Tip 25% Everywhere Now? When it comes time to tip, I want privacy and that is not an option when the server is locking eyes with you. It’s like a game of chicken and nobody wants to blink. I’m not usually one to simply tap a predetermined tip amount. I consider and consult and ultimately decide how much to leave as a tip. Sometimes it involves math which is not my strong suit and I don’t need the stress of someone watching me as I struggle to add two sums. It takes me right back to Mrs. Huddleston’s algebra class in tenth grade and I freeze up like deer in the headlights of Pythagoras’ theorem. The Only Tipping Guide You Will Ever Need I understand that handheld devices are easier and faster for the restaurant. It allows my order to be sent to the kitchen the second it leaves my mouth, requiring less paper and fewer steps. I just ask for a little bit of alone time with the check. The final transaction of my dinner out has become slightly more stressful. I don’t want to feel the stare of my server as their tip is decided. It feels like pressure, which I will easily buckle under. And I would think it would be even more uncomfortable for them. Can we please just leave the device on the table and let us customers have a brief, solitary moment with our checks? It’ll be better for the mental health of all of us. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Tell us why! Other Submit