Bringing a Birthday Cake to a Restaurant Comes With a Cost

It’s estimated that about 385,000 babies are born each day around the world. Approximately 99.9% will eventually have a birthday dinner at a restaurant, expecting the red carpet to be rolled out. What restaurants do for a guest’s birthday can be as varied as the quality of a grocery store cake: You never know what you’re gonna get. Assuming you’re going to be showered with free food and drinks is a mistake. The kitchen might offer balloons, sparklers, and a complimentary pot de crème with your name written in chocolate, or nothing at all. So to properly prepare, here are a few things to keep in mind for celebrating a birthday at a restaurant.

How and when to tell the restaurant

If you want the restaurant to know about your annual trip around the sun, you’ll have to be the squeaky wheel and announce it. Waiting to tell your server until they first approach the table can seem cloyingly desperate, so consider notifying the staff ahead of time — mention it when making the reservation over the phone, or indicate the birthday online if the restaurant or reservation site asks if you’re celebrating anything.

Have your cake and eat it, too

Bringing your own birthday cake? Ask first. Restaurants are in the habit of selling their own desserts and might not appreciate a customer stepping on their confectionery toes. A slicing fee, aka a cakeage fee, is common and can be $1.50 per slice, $25 per cake, or whatever the restaurant determines. This covers the cost of plates and forks used for food that wasn’t cooked in the restaurant. It also makes up for the additional time celebrants stay at the table without buying anything else. And bring your own candles. The restaurant might have some, but they’ve probably been in a drawer next to abandoned credit cards, to-go utensils, and leaky pens.

When to wrap it up

Lingering for more than half an hour without ordering more means it’s time to move on. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay there. When getting up, gift wrap, birthday card envelopes, and other celebratory paraphernalia should go the same place your youth has gone: away. Make an effort to tidy up. Your server might pretend they care about your birthday, but they don’t want to vacuum up confetti. There are only two acceptable items to leave behind after celebrating your birthday at a restaurant: a huge tip and an extra slice of birthday cake for your server.